A Visual Testimony of the F.I.R.E process Before and After

This group is so different from anything I ever attended, in the best ways. If therapists and all the other recommended things don't seem to be working for you, like they weren't for me, I would suggest coming to this group. At first I thought it was too short, but in the six weeks of this process, I went deep into my grief issues and sorted them out along with learning new things about myself. It was hard and made me cry at times but I always left feeling a little bit stronger and confident that I wasn't always going to be stuck suffering. When it was done, I felt better in ways I didn't think existed. For example, the hole in my heart and stomach felt like they were fuller and continuing to fill and I no longer felt like I was drowning and alone. This is an amazing process and I recommend it even if your grief isn't tremendous because you will learn how to help yourself in better ways for the future by digging into the past. – Anonymous

I went into the group not really knowing what to expect, but the outcome was better then I expected. I notice myself using the tools that I learned in the group almost everyday. I carry a lot less weight on my shoulders to live a better healthier life. I truly believe everyone in our community should attend this group to heal themselves -Anonymous

This 6 week grief group has done more for me than any “clinic provided therapy” ever had. Being Onkwehonwe she taps into our cultural healing needs. Our talks brought out real, genuine feelings and it gave us a sense of the root problems throughout our life. She deals with treating the sources of our grief, not just the symptoms. From day 1 of group, I referred family and friends to inquire about her services. I said “check out this group, it’s only been my rst session and I feel some relief.” She leaves you with a sense of accomplishment and it’s all done by you! You put in all the work on your journey to heal. I highly recommend this group. -R.S.

Coming Into the program, I thought it might be like every other counselling I have attended, but it wasn’t. I appreciate the integration of our traditional medicines. I felt safe and heard, and I was able to leave all those emotions at the door before going home to my family. I thought I only had a couple deaths to deal with, come to find out my most impactful grief, i have to deal with, is someone who is still alive and in my life. This is just the first chapter, in my book of grief, of all deaths and loss I have experienced in my lifetime. I appreciate Leona encouraging us to continue working on our next chapters, in a maintenance group. -J.H

The most similar way I can describe this is by being physically lost, wherever you fear nobody would ever find you, taking days or weeks or even a year to be found, imagine how slow that time must feel, and then the happiness/relief once your found. When I walked in the door of the first session, I was lost mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I had felt like i lost my mind, i knew I lost my self and control. When I left the last session I felt freedom, independence, and strength mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I was proud and happy of what I had overcome and learned as I couldn’t see the light at the end of my tunnel before. Sonkwaiatison heard me. Nia:wen.. -Anonymous

It wasn't an easy thing to talk about, and as a guy, I noticed that there are very few that really make that effort as men. All I can say, is to the men that choose to undergo that path for healing. It's worth it. She's a sincere soul, and the people that you end up meeting along the way through healing, you'll be surprised. It all comes full circle. – Anonymous

The group really made me touch base with some things that I may have let sit for too long inside me and the fact that I was able to express my feelings of loss and regret without judgement was really an uplifting moment for me. There was a real feeling of release at the end of it all and maybe some hope that I will let my loved ones know just how much I do love them by having a way to relay that to them now. You really have to hold onto the ones you surround yourself with so you don't miss out on an opportunity like I did. – Ian Boots

The program provided a different style I could not find elsewhere to assist with healing. The program provided the tools I needed to overcome past trauma, let go of my childhood traumas, and assist with traumatic situations that have occurred. Working on yourself is difficult but the support received through our group sessions made me want to keep coming back to better myself for myself, but to also break cycles for my children. -Anonymous

Upon completion of the program; I felt free, strong, unashamed, at peace, worthy, whole, and so much more. I have to say that it was worth every single tear that was shed. It has truly changed the quality of my life, who I am as a person, how I interact with others, and how I will deal with grief and traumas going forward. Now that I have the tools, I can work towards healing the other losses that I have endured throughout my life; not only for myself but also for my daughter. I will be forever be grateful for everything Leona has taught me. I would highly recommend the Aseshate:ka’te group to everyone. Niá:wen – Anonymous

I feel like the Aseshate:ka'te Grief group helped me to learn a new more positive traditional way of letting go of pain that no longer serves me. I now know how to go about combatting grief down all avenues of self-suppression. - Konwennatenha Square

The Aseshate:ka'te Grief group provides a safe and comfortable place to express feelings of grief while moving forward in the process. The group is structured in a way that allows participants to express feelings with purpose, often leaving one feel the weight of grief lifted each week. - Anonymous

I am grateful for having participated in the 6 week Aseshate:ka’te Grief Services group. It helped me understand that I cannot control anyone’s actions but my own. It helped me to understand where and why I was triggered by certain behaviours. I especially appreciated my group, most were people I did not know prior to being in this group, and it was great to build a relationship with them because everyone understood each other’s grief and pain from their losses. I wholeheartedly recommend this program to all community members as we all have experienced some type of grief. -E.S.

We have all suffered some kind of loss in one way or another in our lifetimes and I think anyone could benefit from this process. At first I was scared and unsure. I sat in my car and contemplated leaving and going home but, I’m so glad I went forward with it. I was shocked to learn of how much my life was affected by grief and that time does not heal. -Anonymous

I came into the group for a second time. The first was grieving the loss of a past relationship. And it helped me realize that I wasnt in a good relationship and it was toxic one . It helped me come to terms and I was able to leave that relationship. I took the course again when my mom past away and she was sick for four years and putting everything on paper the life I had with her that I am grateful of that life with her. – Anonymous

I feel more constructive when it comes to my negative emotions and I feel more prepared to handle the inevitable losses I will face in my lifetime. Attaching a cultural aspect to the grieving process has encouraged me to reconnect with my roots and I consider that invaluable. - K.S. 

I never learned how to grieve. The things I was taught didn’t help me. “Don’t talk about it”, “things will get better”, and “I’ve had it worse”. Things never got better, because I never worked on it. It affected my sleep and I had a lot of anger. I lived most of my life like this, with no hope. Since, I’ve started grief counseling I feel hopeful. It’s a lot of work, but it’s worth it. I have let go of resentments, fear, and anger. I don’t know why I’ve carried this with me. My perspective in life has changed. I want to be better for my kids. -Anonymous

Before this program I was just another angry kid from snye who blamed the world, but now I can tell myself that everything that happened to me wasn't because of me and that let's me sleep at night. Grief isn't just missing someone who isn't here, grief is like glutton. You can't really say what it is it's just all the bad stuff. This recovery is what we need in our community. My scale couldn't tell you but I left feeling 25 pounds lighter. -C.C.

Been to treatment/counseling on and off for 25 years, half my life. Nothing has ever made more sense then this process. Niawenkowa. -Anonymous

Highly recommended for ALL! The process of grief learned is not as painful as you would expect, in fact, its empowering, liberating & encouraging! Moving past our unresolved grief is necessary, valuable & inspiring! - Pathfinders Consulting

It helped me let go and stop holding on to grudges and how to let go of the losses i have and helped express my feelings better. -Anonymous

Some values for me while attending this group was just being able to let go of some pieces of my life that were road blocks...and the weight lifted off my shoulders! Thank you thank you thank you! -Anonymous

As a front line worker I feel it is an important tool to address any grief that you have been carrying in order to help the vulnerable clients we deal with. We too are not immune to any traumas from our past whether directly or indirectly. It is important that self care be first and foremost when dealing with clients in such vulnerable situations, front line workers can be triggered often. With that being said I felt I needed to deal with my grief in order to be in a better space so that I can do my job more effectively. Also on a personal level having gone through the grief process it has opened my eyes to patterns and cycles through out my life because of different traumas I have experienced. Once you are aware of these themes and why they are, you can make the necessary changes. I would highly recommend this process to anyone who wants to make that change! - K.T.

For me, I've been grieving my whole life and this is the first time I understood "how" to talk about my feelings about the losses in my life. I could tell you who, what, when, where and why and that is where it stopped. Now I can go a little deeper and begin my healing. - Anonymous

If you are ready to face some of your issues this is the way you will want to try. The way the process is set up everyone is supportive and non-judgmental. I felt safe in sharing and discovered that I wasn’t alone. Others had experienced similar challenges. - Anonymous

When I first started going to the group I was anxious about sharing my personal grief and trauma. This was all for nothing, the group of people in the group were caring and supportive of each other. I was able to take steps to make myself happy again. I have even attended maintenance groups to continue my healing. I thank Leona for offering this class and incorporating our culture into the work. - Anonymous

We all carry grief within our bodies connected to painful experiences. This program helped me to forgive for my own benefit, and to free up space in my own mind and heart. After one session (which included lots of tears), a pain I had had in my throat for six months completely went away, and I believe it was the need to communicate my feelings and process those emotions that healed it. The program teaches you to become aware of your habits you’ve created to avoid your grief, and then gives you steps to start working on it and taking responsibility for your own pain. I really enjoyed working in a group setting and hearing my partner’s story. It reminded me I’m not alone, even in the darkest experiences. Nia:wen for this amazing process and for taking the time to share it with us. - H.S.

I realized I turned all my hurts into anger. Dealing with grief in this way doesn't make me want to fight the Creator anymore. I forgave the Creator for taking my father at such a young age. I no longer carry that anger anymore, but I know I still have anger about other things that happened in my life. But now I have a way to deal with these things and will keep working on it. - R.L.

The group was a blessing in disguise to me, I started it skeptic and kept an open mind. The outcome was amazing and I nurtured a hurt relationship and it’s the best feeling ever! Thank you Leona I need a maintenance group! - G.L.

Retreat Testimonials: 

In order to overcome grief, we need to go through it and feel it. These sessions help you deal with issues that normally we would hide and let consume us. This group helps us bring these issues to the surface, deal with them and let them go. These sessions also provide a safe place to unload grief you are feelings. - Anonymous

This retreat helped me to begin to let go of a lifetime of grief that I hadn't even realized I was carrying. The material was presented in a simple but effective way that helped me to understand grief and begin to work on the load of grief that I had. All of the helpers that came through-out the weekend had either been through or were currently going through the process. This was just one of the thoughtful and comforting details that made the retreat so helpful. - Anonymous